URGENT: Can't pay my bill online, account is broken and no one seems to understand the problem


I've got the following message whenever I try to access my biling info:

We are unable to process your request at this time.
Please try again later. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It's been a month.
I recently upgraded to FIOS and have had a lot of difficulty with my account since then (last month). I've been trying to pay to no avail. My account is in this sort of messy state- I can see and do some things, but not others. It just says "Hi" in the top, no username. There's no account number or customer ID code displayed on the left. Under "Bill and Payment", I have no choices at all. My bill is now past due and I'm getting emails and text messages about it, but can't pay online. If it matters, my FIOS hasn't been installed yet because of a onth's worth of weather delays, so I still have standard phone/DSL. If I use my fios order to access the FIOS page, the billing is unavilable there too.
Chat had no idea what I was talking about and sent me to small business support sales. Not helpful. All the phone agents want to talk to me about is DSL and I get stuck in a maddening transfer loop. A few of them have told me my account has "errors" - so fix them! I've been trying to resolve this through typical support requests but no one can understand it. I'm slowly losing my mind.
I have accessed the account in several browsers, with all history/cookies/cache/everything cleared. No change at all. I mention this because it's everyone's only suggestion.
Luckily, I have seen some success on these forums that other people with the same problem have gotten attention from a support representative who might actually understand the problem instead of thinking I'm some idiot who can't remember my username and password.
In short, can someone please repair my online account so that all features, especially billing, are restored?
Similar posts:
(these screenshots are exactly like my problem)
Re: URGENT: Can't pay my bill online, account is broken and no one seems to understand the problem
Champion - Level 1

Your issue has been escalated to a Verizon agent. Before the agent can begin assisting you, they will need to collect further information from you.

Please go to your profile page here on the forum, and look in the middle, right at the top where you will find an area titled "My Support Cases". You can reach your profile page by clicking on your name beside your post, or at the top left of this page underneath the title of the board.

Under “My Support Cases” you will find a link to the private board where you and the agent may exchange information. This should be checked on a frequent basis as the agent may be waiting for information from you before they can proceed with any actions.

To ensure you know when they have responded to you, at the top of your support case there is a drop down menu for support case options. Open that and choose "subscribe".

Please keep all correspondence regarding your issue in the private support portal.