These are the instructions that I followed to update my HTC Incredible to Gingerbread. They are straight forward and do not require a rooted phone.
Word of caution - this update is not without its problems (as demonstrated by the numerous issues posted here), apply at your own risk. I have had "low memory" issues, hardware information showing I have a 4.3" display, deleted applications (not a lot) and battery life issues. I have not had IM issues since I don't use IM. If I was to do it again, I would backup my phone and do a factory reset after I applied the update (to clear out applications and reinitialize the OS file system).
Hope this helps.
http://forums.androidcentral.com/verizon-droid-incredible/116534-ota-gingerbread.html#post1222770
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