Monitoring My 12 y/o's Text Messages

[Anyar]

Added  my 12 y/o to our family share plan, and gave her my DROID Incredible for her birthday.  Having major problems with her / some boy texting one another. Is there any application that will allow me to view/monitor the text messages between them using my DROID Razr?  I'm not generally a prying parent, but I'm really worried over this because I believe he is a lot older than she is.  Any help/ideas would be greatly appreciated.

[mdram4x4]

you have 2 options

1. get an app that forwards all messages they send/receive to your phone

2. ask them to see their phone, compare all messages with timestamps on your online account

    if theres a missing message, then disable texting

of course there is email too and third party apps that you will never know what they send/recieve

[budone]

mdram4x4 wrote:

you have 2 options

1. get an app that forwards all messages they send/receive to your phone

2. ask them to see their phone, compare all messages with timestamps on your online account

    if theres a missing message, then disable texting

of course there is email too and third party apps that you will never know what they send/recieve

Beat me to it....again!

[mdram4x4]

i think the board needs a parenting forum

[Anyar]

LOL!  I think that's one of the best answers received so far.  We parents need to learn how to outsmart our kids, and teach one another how to do so with this sophisticated technology.  Now, if her Smart Phone could just help get her homework done and make her smarter, I wouldn't feel so bad.   

[budone]

It will, take it away til homework is completed. Amazing how smart she will become

[B33]

These youngans they learn stuff these days so fast it's truley increidible when i was a Senior in High school We were just starting to get Computers in certain area's of the School. An at mid semester the Drafting room in our woods class got them to use in Computer aided Drafting things have come long way since 1988... a long Way.   B33

[budone]

B33 wrote:

These youngans they learn stuff these days so fast it's truley increidible when i was a Senior in High school We were just starting to get Computers in certain area's of the School. An at mid semester the Drafting room in our woods class got them to use in Computer aided Drafting things have come long way since 1988... a long Way.   B33

Love the line, since 1988.  You young whipper snapper you

[Anyar]

LOL!  Too funny.  Then I definitely won't mention when I graduated.

[Anyar]

Thanks, mdram4x4.  An app is actually what I'm looking for.  Taking the phone from her to view messages doesn't work as she deletes.  I truly want to trust her but it's the boy I'm more worried about.  Thanks, I will search the internet for apps.

[mdram4x4]

of course whats to prevent her from turning the app off

[Anyar]

True. Fortunately, I don't think she's that technologically astute.  Fortunately, I work in IT so I have a little advantage over her, plus I believe I can also hide any app so she can't see it.  LOL

[budone]

Ya won't be able to hide it. It sill be in the list of apps. Plus if not her, a friend wikl find it within 24 hrs of loading it and will delete it

[Anyar]

@Budone - actually my DROID Razr has a feature that allows me to hide apps.  I believe her DROID Incredible has the same feature.  I just don't think she's that technologically astute to know what the apps is or how to unhide it.  If an SMS Backup apps is installed, don't think she'll know unless something pops up indicating that her messages are being forwarded.  Disabling text messaging isn't an option.  Kinda defeats the purpose of her having the ability to communicate with her friends/family.  I'm tied to a 2-year contract paying an outrageous $217/month for two phones both with data packages so canceling the phone isn't an option right now.  Next time I'll got with TMobil (Can you hear me now Verizon?  LOL) where I can easily cancel the contract, if need be.

[budone]

Anyar wrote:

@Budone - actually my DROID Razr has a feature that allows me to hide apps.  I believe her DROID Incredible has the same feature.  I just don't think she's that technologically astute to know what the apps is or how to unhide it.  If an SMS Backup apps is installed, don't think she'll know unless something pops up indicating that her messages are being forwarded.  Disabling text messaging isn't an option.  Kinda defeats the purpose of her having the ability to communicate with her friends/family.  I'm tied to a 2-year contract paying an outrageous $217/month for two phones both with data packages so canceling the phone isn't an option right now.  Next time I'll got with TMobil (Can you hear me now Verizon?  LOL) where I can easily cancel the contract, if need be.

You can make sure the app is not on the any of the screens, but it will be show up in the ALL app list.

I am more concerned by the $217 for two devices. What plan are you on??? What add on do you have???  When I had two phones, both with data, was under $110. But I only had a 500 minute plan.

[rcschnoor]

budone wrote:

I am more concerned by the $217 for two devices. What plan are you on??? What add on do you have???  When I had two phones, both with data, was under $110. But I only had a 500 minute plan.

It's not that hard to get up there. With the 1400 minute plan, 2 lines at $90 + unlimited texting at $30 + 2 data plans at $30 each = $180 + ~ $37 in taxes/fees would bring it up to the $217.

Are there any employer discounts you could apply to your account, or possibly drop to a lower minute allowance? I personally have 5 lines w/1400minutes, unlimited texting, 2 unlimited data plans, 1 $10 data plan and have applied employer discounts for a total monthly bill of $220 including taxes/fees.

[Anyar]

Unfortunately, my employee discounts are with AT&T, which is who I started to sign up with.  I agree, $220/month for 2 phones is an awful lot.  The only reason I decided to stay with Verizon is because I gave my DROID Incredible to my daughter, and it couldn't be used with AT&T.  It also saved me having to buy a new phone for her.  LESSONS LEARNED!!  When my contract is over, I'm leaving Verizon.  Have had way too many problems with them, plus they're monthly plans are outrageous, and their customer service sucks.  Unfortunately, there's a $350 cancellation fee.  But paying this, and going some place else cheaper will still save me money in the long run.

[budone · Accepted solution]

It can be done if you want to  sneak behind their back. Get their phone and add SMS Backup App to their device, set it to automatically back up SMS's. And use an email account of yours to send all the texts to.

A better idea (in my opinion) is, since you are the parent, set rules. You get to take the device and look at texts at anytime. Let them know if the amount of texts listed on the phone do not match the number shown online, all texting will be blocked, or the phone will be taken, or a number of other consequences.

Kids need to learn there are negative results by not following the rules. They will respect the parent more by working with them this way than sneaking around to get messages.

My two cents

[Anyar]

Thanks budone.  This actually sounds like a very good idea.  I will search the net for an SMS backup app.  I have set rules but rules don't seem to be working.  I want her to have a phone for her security/safety when she's out, but 300 text message to this young man is becoming far too worrisome LOL.  Thanks for your help.

[mdram4x4]

then may a suggest a basic phone

block all numbers but yours or others needed for emergencies

block all text messaging

get vzw parental controls

[Anyar]

Yeah, Verizon Parent Controls sounds like a good option.  Need to investigate this.