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data speed irony

Fun story, I finally give in and switch to unlimited yesterday.  Today I've been in 1x or 3G all day, essentially rendering most of my phone useless.  I attempt to log into the Verizon app to consider upping to the next level of unlimited (feels odd I'd be throttled on day 1, but it is what it is), only to get the "We're sorry.  It looks like we are having trouble connecting" message on the app.  I laugh, and think...the exact reason I'm trying to log in.  So I go to to address it there, well they need to send me a verification to log into my account (safety first, I get it), which is either a text message with a link to verify or an email with a link to verify or an authorization code.  You guessed it, when I click on the link to verify, it can't load on my phone because of the poor data speed and times out, when I go to my email, it doesn’t have the speed to retrieve the new email with the authorization code.  I turn to the chat, the bot can't assist, and asks if I want to chat with a betcha I do.  But the vicious cycle continues, because I can only chat if I'm logged in, which I can't because I can't verify it's me, because of the poor data speeds, which I can't address because I don't have the data speed to do it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

So here we are, slow speeds with no way to fix because of my slow speeds.  What a time to be alive.  I needed WiFi, which if I had all this access to WiFi I wouldn’t have needed to switch to an unlimited plan to begin with.