Who I have the same questioned this topic

I'm a prospective customer, presently with AT&T wireless. Assuming I don't have time to make a long drawn out phone call, choose menu options, wait on hold etc. and also don't have time to drive down to a physical store, what are my options for getting in touch with a human at Verizon?

Every link on the website dead ends in either "log in" (can't create an account without already having service), or their "virtual assistant" which is basically an FAQ with no real answers.