Using own Router - Constant problem and have tried everything!

[AbSoLuTAL]

Hello all,

 I writing this post because I’m at the end of my rope. I purchased a Netgear Nighthawk XR450 around Jun. 2020. At this time I was using triple play with Fios gigabit Internet. At first, I disconnected the Fios Gateway router and connected the XR450 and had ZERO issues for about 4 months. Then around June one day all wireless devices lost WiFi. I rebooted the router, rebooted the ONT, contacted VZ in that order. I had the automated system reboot the ONT and immediately everything worked fine.. for exactly a week down to the hour. This time, all internet went out. My XR450 sometimes would reboot over and over, next the speeds were about 80/80 which is about 10% my normal speed. I then reconnected the VZ gateway and all worked almost instantly. I gave it a day and switched gateway and XR450. My router worked for about 7 days again down to the hour. Sometimes speeds were 10%, sometimes The router wouldn’t be able to get a signal from the ONT. I eventually read the forums and tried to reconnect the VZ gateway and disable the Coax setting and then release DHCP. I then disconnected the gateway and connected my XR450 and it worked! It worked for a week again, I changed cabled and it worked again. Anyhow, Eventually the only and off made me lose it. I demanded someone come over and look, maybe change the ONT. So they did. During this time I ordered a NEW nighthawk router - XR500 but it didnt arrive yet. Also I disconnected all services and kept JUST Internet. The tech changed cabling outside, changed ONT and then had me connect my XR450. 85/85!! He said, well I cannot touch that so I don’t know. I connected the VZ gateway and it instantly worked. 950/950. And he took off. A couple of days past and my new router arrived. I did the same switch-a-roo and the XR500 has the same issue. 85/85. I was lost. I have a 100ft new cat6 cable that goes from the ONT to the router. So I decided to disconnect that and reconnect a 6ft cat6 with the router sitting on the floor by the ONT just to test. Instantly the speeds were 950/950. I switched to 3 other shorter cables one by one and all worked. I then connected the 100ft original cat6 and it also worked again. I don’t get it. I left it connected to the 100ft cat6 and a week later... again down to the hour it knocks out. No internet. Reboot router, ONT over and over and eventually I got it to work at 85/85 and I had to leave to work. In the morning I purchased a new 50ft cat6 and it worked instantly at 950/950. This lasted about 4 days and it started dropping speeds to 85/85, I reboot and then all goes back to normal.. Next day, 85/85.. and so on. Now I’m here. At a loss. I have purchased a spool of cabling and ready to rewire my entire apt being that switching cables worked here and there but this MUST be some kind of technical issue.. NO? I’m tired.. school started and my autistic daughter in college just started her second year and is losing it. And if I need to take the net down for a reboot, or whatever it leaves her balling in tears because that is how my autistic little girl deals with things. Any finally my wife just had a **bleep** 15lb cancerous mass removed from her abdomen and just got home. I want to give my girls peace.. but also want to use my router.
Last thing.. the VZ gateway seems to work but has speed issues of its own but never as bad as my router. I don’t really mention it because I don’t want that router.. I want the awesome ones that I paid a lot of money for. 

thank you for listening to me whine and everything. I need help, please

Allan.

[gs0b]

I didn't read all of the wall-of-text you posted.  It looks like you have FiOS TV.  If you do, it is always best to have a Verizon router as primary.  It enables special communication paths for the set-top-boxes.  With the most recent model of set-top-boxes the Verizon system may lock out non-Verizon routers after a period of time.

Here's a helpful FAQ:

https://www.dslreports.com/faq/14077

[appDev]

Not sure what would cause a sudden break (especially having worked for 4 months), but a couple of options -

1. one option would be to leave the VZ router in primary, turn into "Bridged" mode, and then plug in your router
2. turn your router into AP mode, leave the VZ setup as-is, and that'll let you get benefits of both.

I realize neither answers your question, but i believe it could be about DHCP release? You could call VZ while disconnected, plug in your router, and get the system to recognize your MAC address. Again, not sure what that would have anything to do with losing internet, but worth a shot.

[AbSoLuTAL]

Sorry for the long post.. I just didn’t know how to explain without all the other crap.. 

thanks for the assistance. I’ll see what I can do. 
much appreciated.

allan

[AbSoLuTAL]

Thank you for the response. And again, sorry about the uber long post. 
I appreciate your help and I’ll give it go later on. 
thank you so very much!

allan