Spoke with a representative named Eva, and explained to them that even with full bars, my calls keep dropping and I can't connect to the internet. Tried the troubleshooting steps.
Reboot
Reset Network Settings
Power Off / Reinstalled Sim Card / Power On
Soft Factory Reset Full Wipe
Hard Factory Reset Full Wipe.
Tried to explain this at the beginning to at least two people.
Tried to upsell me when my current plan doesn't even work. What bllshenanigans is this? Then my phone is going to stop working next week and I have to update again? I have unlimited and I haven't even reached my throttle threshold yet.