Thank you Verizon; you're right. Buying a new phone is the fix! I bought a brand new LG Spectrum at the Verrizon store yesterday and my old LG Revolution immediately began to work perfectly again. That was the fix. Of course....
You think this is messed up? It just gets weirder. Before going to bed last night I took my new LG Spectrum off a 4 hour charge because it was full. It slept all night. When I checked it in the morning it had one missed call and 6 emails; that's it. The battery charge however was completely on EMPTY! OMG!!?? What the....? Yesterday I was rather puzzled by how exceptionally warm/hot it felt while on charge. The charger plug also felt the same. It's on charge right now using the supplied charger but I changed it to a different outlet. It's still very warm/hot. I'm befungled!! I live in a 1/2 million $ condo packed with properly working electronics' so it's certainly not a source problem.
More weirdness: yesterday I was downloading and re-installing programs and updates to reload my new phone. A couple of hours later it went on an all out download splurge all on it's own, one after another it was a stream of unwanted downloads I couldn't stop. I turned off wi-fi, but eventually had to shut down the phone right in the middle of processes..... not a good. (UPDATE: solved this issue. I discovered that all the bloatware pre-installed on the phone further imposes itself by ALSO being set to 'auto update' itself. Oh! cool! and check this out: it won't let you uninstall any of that sh*t! Cool huh? 
Thanks LG or is it Verizon; I want to be sure to give due credit to whomever is responsible for that POS idea!)
My new not-so smartphone phone, less than 24 hours old, is already fouled. 
UPDATE: 5 hours later. No phone call usage today. Emails, texts, a few downloads, and some new phone setup configuring today. Phone is dead after 5 hours of use. Took old phone off 1 hour charge and of course it was as cool as a cucumber, plugged in new phone and it became hot within minutes. I think that the solution is to just go back to using landlines....
Attached below is a photo showing the EKG of the entire life of my NEW phone. 1 day and 7 hours. Hmph? And I am already in the forums. Anyone know what the record is?
