is there any way someone can check your voice mail and u would never know it or is there a way we can find out if its even going on
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The person would just need to know the phone number and the voicemail pass code. There are ways to access the voicemail system without actually having the physical phone in their hands.
If that was occurring you would probably only notice it your device was alerted of a new voicemail and then that notification disappeared prior to you actually checking it. If someone was doing that they would need to know your voicemail passcode or have access to your phone so keeping those secure would prevent that from happening