Secret Messages & contacts

misskitty3

My sisters boyfriend is sending messages to people he doesn't want my sister to know about.  This guy is very sly.  I've witnessed it myself.  I know he is using her but I can't say that to her because she'll be so hurt & end up hating me for saying things about her & her boyfriend.  She can say them but I can't.  You know how it goes?  Yet it's me she comes to for help with finding out the truth about him and what he does really while always on his cell phone. Maybe someone can help me out here figure out how he pulls this off. For one he is always with his iphone in his hand.  It's super annoying.  He plays "angry Birds" 24/7. I think he is playing angry birds but chatting behind the angry birds screen.  Can this happen like that?  it's weird.  He will send someone a message that my sister knows is a real friend of his but it won't show up on the usage log.  I think he changes the contacts in his contacts list.  I think he will use "Bills" name but put a secret number for bill  and then afterwards switch it back to Bill.  But he can use email too can't he.? He can have secret text and email accounts as well as contacts that are private too, right?   Anything on how cheaters pull this phone thing off so well l will appreciate very much.  thank you,

MSkitty

PS) he has an iphone 4

<Moved from Messaging space to iPhone 4 space for more exposure.>

Message was edited by: Verizon Moderator

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kaebfly

Honestly, if your sister has to stress over her relationship this much then her focus needs to be on re-evaluating the relationship and the reasons she's convinced he is doing something wrong if she doesn't actually have any proof of such. As far as who he is texting and why it's not showing on the bill (again, a stressful act if she spends that much time pouring over the bill to see what every number texted is in order to try and catch him in something)...if he is texting someone else with an iPhone that has iOS 5 then they are using iMessage...which would not show on VZW's bill. That doesn't automatically mean someone is intentionally trying to hide who they are texting...it just happens to be a feature of iOS 5. Yes, if you wanted to use it to hide who you are communicating with you can do so but the same can be said about a BlackBerry user using BBM to communicate. Also, of course anyone can use a "secret" email address to communicate, a texting service (such as textplus, text now, textfree, Gmail SMS, etc) that uses data and not VZW and would not show on the bill....a pre-paid phone that the girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse doesn't know about...the options are plentiful. You don't need an iPhone to be a succesful cheater or private person....you don't even need a phone. A computer, pre-planned schedules....if you work with someone you can carry on an affair and never actually speak on the phone or email each other.

Point being....your sister needs to decide what she really wants and if she is convinced he is cheating then she needs to confront him about it....and if she doesn't believe his answer then she needs to either remove herself from the situation or put on her big girl pants and accept that for whatever reason she rather stay with someone that she obviously doesn't trust (justified or unjustified). As far as your involvement goes...instead of trying to play private eye with her you need to be supportive shoulder but otherwise, stay out of it. If he is cheating it's not your place or your job to go through his communications to try and find the dirt. It's not your relationship. You can care about your sister and her wellbeing without enabling the actions she chooses to do when it comes to someone else's right to privacy. You pretty much said that she wants you to help her do her dirt but she doesn't want to actually hear anything you have to say. If you aren't the one dating this guy then what he does or who he talks to isn't your business. Being there for your sister (NOT being her partner in crime) is totally different.