When I do that it says that my SIM card has updated my roaming capabilities. I don't get any options.
If you have SIM card your phone is 4G and calling *228 will not work. Powering down the device and restarting will update the roaming PRL's if needed.
Then how do I update the towers that my phone uses? Here lately my wife and I have had intermittent, at best, phone service. I would like to get the quality back to where it was when we first moved in a year ago.
As noted above, a 4G phone (i.e., a phone with a SIM card) updates its PRLs via the SIM card. Simply turning the phone on/off should update it, if one is needed. If not, turn off the phone, remove the SIM card (be sure not to touch the gold contacts), wait a few minutes, reinsert the SIM card, turn the phone back on, and give it a few minutes to re-establish a connection with the network.
If that doesn't work, you could try a new SIM card. If that doesn't work, there may be a tower issue in your area.